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Feb. 9, 2020

Feb. 7, Friday 

Skipped a day, arghhhh medicines... Too strong they were. Still feeling dizzy... 

Anyway today it was a different day altogether. I'm missing my Gurgaon home already. Trying a dating app n already frustrated with too many texts. Why the hell I installed it. People there are annoying and strange, really strange. Hope I'll be able to divert my mind and move on from this pain soon. I know its not a right approach but I don't see any other way out. 

But man... *Look what to did to me...* This song  is playing in my mind on repeat now.

Feb. 9, Sunday Morning... 

In this phase of missing him all the time, don't know that I am doing to myself. This was never me and this is not right either. The only good thing happened so far is finding a good friend who can sit with me listen to good music and all my nonsense talks. I found a friend as weird as me but hey... I still miss you. And I still wonder why u did this to me...

Feb. 9, Midnight 

My feet are cold, my head is burning and it feels like a hot case... My hands are numb... I'm falling deep deep and deep in some darkness and... Felt helpless... Feels like creepy high fever but I know its not fever... A tear rolled out from my eyes and I slept... 

This was me couple of hours ago... I just woke up at 2.30am and realized that I should not have missed the medcines doctor prescribed me the other day.. Hell... What I've done to myself.. I was a happy soul... A fun filled firl.. And I'm still the one but these anxiety attacks are killing the real me... I wish I had never met him.. I wish... 

I WISH A LOT and I know my wishes never come true... I know 2.40am is not good time for my pill but took a risk of consuming it... Hope I wake up fresh and on time... Afterall I'm resuming work after 15 days... Hell I'm excited yet nervous... I'm gonna make it awesome... AMEN 🙏🏼



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